{"id":32062,"date":"2021-05-13T13:54:43","date_gmt":"2021-05-13T17:54:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thinkorange.com\/sit-dont-fix-when-responding-to-student-anxiety\/"},"modified":"2021-05-13T13:54:43","modified_gmt":"2021-05-13T17:54:43","slug":"sit-dont-fix-when-responding-to-student-anxiety","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thinkorange.com\/blog\/sit-dont-fix-when-responding-to-student-anxiety\/","title":{"rendered":"Sit, Don’t Fix, When Responding to Student Anxiety"},"content":{"rendered":"

I don\u2019t know about you, but I think most of us were hoping when the calendar turned to 2021, all of our problems would magically go away\u2014including, you know, that pesky global pandemic. Months into the new year though, many of us still find ourselves quarantining, working virtually, schooling virtually, and finding workarounds to accomplish all of our \u201cnormal life\u201d responsibilities.<\/span><\/p>\n

Our problems and obstacles didn\u2019t disappear on January 1, and as much as we all wish it did, our anxiety didn\u2019t disappear either.<\/span><\/p>\n

It also didn\u2019t disappear for our students.<\/span><\/p>\n

Anxiety has not only <\/span>not gone away<\/span><\/i> for our students, it also seems to be <\/span>evolving<\/span><\/i> and <\/span>trending<\/span><\/i> in new and different ways\u2014in part thanks to the pandemic we\u2019re all still facing.<\/span><\/p>\n

Start With Thoughts & Beliefs<\/b><\/h2>\n

And as our culture quickly shifts and changes, as adults it may feel increasingly difficult to relate to students\u2019 new anxieties. But the good (and bad) news is that, although anxiety may look different, <\/span>we can still empathize and help combat anxiety in our students in a similar way<\/b>\u2014whether you\u2019re 24 or 74.<\/span><\/p>\n

Regardless of how anxiety is evolving and trending, <\/span>anxiety at its core is <\/b>fear<\/i><\/b>.<\/b> And the greatest catalyst of fear? Our thoughts. Which is why <\/span>thoughts<\/span><\/i> can be a great place to start to help students navigate their anxiety. <\/span>Seeking to understand a student\u2019s thoughts and beliefs will give you a glimpse into the depth of their struggle.<\/b> Now, students will rarely just offer this kind of depth\u2014which is why you have to ask questions, be patient, and leave plenty of space in the conversation for them to process and open up. But given enough time, a student will lay down the fa\u00e7ade and share some of what\u2019s really going on in their minds.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sitting In Student Anxiety<\/b><\/h2>\n

After a student shares some of the anxiety they\u2019re facing, comes the toughest step: <\/span>Sitting in it.<\/b> At this point, <\/span>you want to allow the anxiety and emotions attached to those thoughts to bubble up in the conversation. <\/b>And we can do this without believing and feeding into the lies and thoughts our students are wrestling with.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

For example, you can empathize and sit with someone who is anxious about being judged by their peers <\/span>without<\/span><\/i> affirming the lies that tell them they are worthless or less than.<\/span><\/p>\n

Of course, <\/span>feeling<\/i><\/b> is not <\/b>fact<\/i><\/b>.<\/b> This is the logic and truth most of us want to rush to when talking with students in these moments. But we have to hold back. We can\u2019t lead with this, because in order to start seeing and believing what\u2019s true, all of us\u2014students included\u2014have to sift through the feelings first. Once a feeling is <\/span>seen<\/span><\/i> and <\/span>heard<\/span><\/i>, it can quiet down, which then allows logic and more rational thinking to come into play. But if we do these steps out of order, to our students, it\u2019ll feel like they\u2019re talking to someone in a different language. In other words, integrating rational thinking <\/span>before<\/span><\/i> feelings have a chance to be felt and heard tends to create an \u201cin one ear, out the other\u201d situation. No one benefits, and both you and the student will leave frustrated.<\/span><\/p>\n

Offer Hope And Remind A Teenager Of Their Value\u00a0\u00a0<\/b><\/h2>\n

Once you have listened to a student\u2019s thoughts, sat in the feelings, and held back your logical reasoning, you finally get to reward your patience by giving hope to a student\u2014which has a far higher probability now to not only be heard, but believed as well. In this moment, you get to remind a student that their value is not based on performance. <\/span>Ever.<\/span><\/i> In other words, their performance\u2014or lack thereof\u2014does not \u201csave them\u201d or \u201cscrew them.\u201d<\/b> No matter what, when they bomb a test, when a friend ditches them, when there\u2019s a big family fight at home . . . it does not change how much God loves them or limit how He can redeem or use a piece of their story.<\/span><\/p>\n

Now before you get too excited, let\u2019s reset our expectations a bit. <\/span>This approach to help students navigate anxiety<\/b> might not be an all-in-one conversation.<\/b> It might take several conversations before you really find out what a student is thinking. There might be a lot of \u201csitting in it\u201d with a student before you can remind them of what\u2019s true.<\/span><\/p>\n

You\u2019re Not There To Fix Them<\/b>\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n

And while these might seem like steps to just \u201cget through\u201d for us, they can actually be the most powerful steps for students. When you\u2019re with a student in the depth of their thoughts, lies, and fear, you are building trust that is difficult to build in any other way. And it proves to a student that <\/span>you aren\u2019t just there to fix them<\/b>. You are there <\/span>for<\/i><\/b> them<\/b>.<\/span><\/p>\n

You\u2019re there <\/span>for<\/span><\/i> them through any anxiety they experience\u2014and through ups, downs, good times, bad times, and even pandemics. You\u2019re there, walking with them, ready to remind them of who they are in Christ and how God loves them no matter what. You get to be the light God uses to show them that they <\/span>aren\u2019t<\/span><\/i> alone, they <\/span>are<\/span><\/i> seen, and they <\/span>are<\/span><\/i> heard.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When you seek to understand a student\u2019s thoughts and beliefs, you’ll get a glimpse into the depth of their struggle.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":32063,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"content-type":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[523,427,82],"tags":[452,312,243],"authors":[453],"life-stage":[345],"class_list":["post-32062","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-ministry-leadership","category-small-groups","category-volunteers","tag-anxiety","tag-mental-health","tag-small-groups","authors-kayla-lin","life-stage-youth-ministry"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nSit, Don't Fix, When Responding to Student Anxiety | Think Orange<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" 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