{"id":31721,"date":"2022-03-20T14:53:00","date_gmt":"2022-03-20T18:53:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thinkorange.com\/can-you-influence-someone-you-dont-know\/"},"modified":"2024-04-29T10:26:27","modified_gmt":"2024-04-29T14:26:27","slug":"can-you-influence-someone-you-dont-know","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thinkorange.com\/blog\/can-you-influence-someone-you-dont-know\/","title":{"rendered":"Can You Influence Someone You Don’t Know?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Kids know more about you than you know about them.<\/p>\n

People are wired to pay closer attention to someone who has power over their world. Think about it. You probably know more about the President than he knows about you. As kids and teenagers grow up, they depend on the adults in their world to get food, to have transportation, and to pay for something on occasion.<\/p>\n

It just makes sense for them to . . .<\/p>\n

Pay attention to what you like\u2014so they can sweet-talk you later.<\/p>\n

Listen to what you dislike\u2014so they don\u2019t accidentally make you mad.<\/p>\n

Stalk your social media\u2014so they can catch you off-guard.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s a relational principle for you:<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

You can\u2019t influence someone you don\u2019t know.<\/strong><\/em><\/h2>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n
<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

That\u2019s why marketing executives typically spend 15 percent of their budgets to simply clarify and research their target audience.<\/p>\n

Kids and teenagers get the power of influence intuitively.<\/p>\n

They want to have influence with you (in order to get what they want) so it\u2019s in their nature to study you. As an adult, you don\u2019t need kids the way they need you. So you have to be far more intentional about knowing them if you want to have influence.<\/p>\n

But if you want to shape their future,\u00a0they need to know they matter to you.<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Lifetime educator Rita Pierson spoke at a TED Conference to a room of educators to remind us all:\u00a0\u201cKids don\u2019t learn from people they don\u2019t like.\u201d<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

It\u2019s also true that kids don\u2019t learn from people who don\u2019t like them. And they will never feel like you like them if you don\u2019t know them.<\/p>\n

So, you have to know them.\u00a0What you don\u2019t know can ultimately sabotage your mission.<\/p>\n

Like handing out antibiotics at a free clinic but failing to leave enough medication to finish the course.\u00a0\u00a0Like passing out eyeglasses to kids who can\u2019t see without first doing an eye exam to diagnose the problem.<\/p>\n

Sometimes you just need to understand what you need to understand if you want to be effective.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Mistakes Adults Make When Trying to Influence Kids<\/strong><\/h2>\n

 <\/p>\n

There are two mistakes leaders tend to make when it comes to knowing kids and teenagers:<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

1. Adults tend to assume:\u00a0They are like me now.\u00a0<\/strong><\/h3>\n

 <\/p>\n

Chances are, you don\u2019t think you think this way. But if you aren\u2019t careful, you can start acting like every kid is like you. And when you act like every kid is like you, as if they have the perspective of a 22, 35, or 48-year-old, you may get discouraged.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

2. Adults tend to assume:\u00a0They are like I used to be.\u00a0<\/strong><\/h3>\n

 <\/p>\n

After all, you were a kid once. You already survived middle school. So you know something about what it\u2019s like to grow up, right? The problem with this kind of thinking is that a lot has changed since you were a second grader (like boy bands, mobile phones, and Frozen).<\/p>\n

When you assume you know what you don\u2019t know, you risk giving kids what they don\u2019t need.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s why you have to be careful if you\u2019re a mother of preschoolers picking music for the sixth-grade lock-in or a seminary graduate teaching two-year-olds about the crucifixion.<\/p>\n

In the first 18+ years of a person\u2019s life, kids are changing physically, mentally, relationally, culturally, emotionally and morally. Those changes affect how they think, learn, feel, and relate. So, if you want to have influence, you have to understand what is changing.<\/p>\n

Here are five free resources to help you understand what is changing in each phase of a kid\u2019s life:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. 3 Questions Every Elementary Schooler is Asking Themselves<\/a><\/li>\n
  2. Helping Kids Connect With God<\/a><\/li>\n
  3. Navigating the Phases of Elementary School<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    If you want to help a kid know they matter, get serious about knowing a kid.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Kids know more about you than you know about them. People are wired to pay closer attention to someone who has power over their world. Think about it. You probably know more about the President than he knows about you. As kids and teenagers grow up, they depend on the adults in their world to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":41580,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"content-type":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[75,82],"tags":[97,332,333,334,250,61,62,85],"authors":[1815],"life-stage":[64],"class_list":["post-31721","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-parents","category-volunteers","tag-childrens-ministry","tag-elementary-phase","tag-impact-kids","tag-influence","tag-kids-ministry","tag-parents","tag-phase","tag-volunteers","authors-think-orange-team","life-stage-kids-ministry"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nCan You Influence Someone You Don't Know? | Think Orange<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"If we want to influence kids, we have to know them. If we want to know them, we have to build relationships. 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